They are the we of me

We cannot live better than in seeking to become better.

Love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which had lain quiet within the lover for a long time hitherto. And somehow every lover knows this. He feels in his soul that his love is a solitary thing. He comes to know a new, strange loneliness and it is this knowledge which makes him suffer. So there is only one thing for the lover to do. He must house his love within himself as best he can; he must create for himself a whole new inward world — a world intense and strange, complete in himself. Let it be added here that this lover about whom we speak need not necessarily be a young man saving for a wedding ring — this lover can be man, woman, child, or indeed any human creature on this earth.

Life Strategies

Personal Relationship Values

In relationships, just as in every other aspect of life, the spirit and attitude with which you do things is at least as important as your actual actions. Embrace and incorporate these powerful values, and you will start living with more integrity, honesty, compassion and enthusiasm. This, in turn, will breathe new life into your relationship.


Own your own relationship.
You are fully accountable for your relationship. You can never again believe you're a martyr suffering in your relationship because of an unworthy partner. Only when you stop seeing yourself as a victim will you start to see yourself as a fully competent and potent force in your relationship. 


Accept the risk of vulnerability.
Do not let fear paralyze your life. Wanting, reaching out and letting yourself hope makes you vulnerable. At least by putting yourself on the line, you have the chance of getting what you want, as opposed to hurting with no chance of getting what you want. Not to venture is to lose yourself. 


Accept your partner.
If your partner experiences in you the spirit of acceptance, then it is most likely that he/she will find you approachable. Two partners who are moving toward each other, rather than both trying to seek safety from pain, have a dramatically improved chance of reconciliation. 


Focus on friendship.
You have to take a step back from the problems and pain of your intimate interactions, and focus on your partner's positive qualities. Turn back the clock and recall what it was that started the friendship that matured into an intimate relationship. 


Promote your partner's self-esteem.
You must bring the spirit of acceptance into affirmative, interactive action. Find the courage and creativity to promote and protect your partner's self-esteem, even when you feel compelled to be critical. By using the value of self-esteem, you provide a much more nurturing atmosphere, one your partner will not want to abandon. 


Aim your frustrations in the right direction.
Work at sorting out the causes of your frustration, and resist the impulsive temptation to pick at your partner. Once you start seeing that the negative things you perceive in your partner are often things you see in yourself, you will literally alter the nature of your interactions with your partner. 


Be up front and forthright.
Nothing can be more frustrating than what is referred to as an incongruent communication, where an individual says one thing yet indicates something dramatically different with his or her nonverbal conduct. Strive to express your feelings in a mature and responsible way. By being honest about your emotions, you base your relationship upon integrity rather than lies and deception. 


Make yourself happy instead of right.
Start evaluating the things you do in your relationship based on whether those thoughts, feelings and actions are working. For example, you don't have to prove over and over that you know what you're talking about more than your partner. Instead, choose a different emotion such as tolerance, understanding or compassion that does not escalate hostility in your relationship. By deciding to be happy rather than right, you will be receptive to your partner's attempts to de-escalate hostility and return to civil interactions. 

Allow your relationship to transcend turmoil.
Rough times and arguments happen, and one way or another, they are going to impact the relationship. You must vow to no longer use threats as a lever to manipulate and control your partner. By doing so, you are setting a clear limit on the places a spirited discussion with your partner will not go. 


Put motion into your emotion.
You must turn the concept of love into a proactive behavior. Don't be so consumed with negative messages that your expectations are low. You must require yourself and your relationship to truly be better. 

The Conquest of Happiness

Outline of The Conquest of Happiness

The Causes of Unhappiness

1. What Makes People Unhappy?

"My purpose is to suggest a cure for the ordinary day-to-day unhappiness from which most people in civilized countries suffer, and which is all the more unbearable because, having no obvious external cause, it appears inescapable. I believe this unhappiness to be largely due to mistaken views of the world, mistaken ethics, mistaken habits of life, leading to the destruction of that natural zest and appetite for possible things upon which all happiness, whether of men or of animals, ultimately depends." [page 17]

2. Byronic Unhappiness

"It is common in our day, as it has been in so many other periods of the world's history, to suppose that those among us who are wise enough have seen through all the enthusiasms of earlier times and have become aware that there is nothing left to live for. ... I do not myself believe that there is any superior rationality in being unhappy. The wise man will be as happy as circumstances permit, and if he finds the contemplation of the universe painful beyond a point, he will contemplate something else instead. ... I wish to persuade the reader that, whatever the arguments may be, reason lays no embargo upon happiness." [page 24]

3. Competition

Russell paints a bleak picture of the businessman so obsessed by competing with other businessmen for success that the rest of life passes him by. "Success can only be one ingredient in happiness, and is too dearly purchased if all other ingredients have been sacrificed to obtain it." [page 43]

4. Boredom and Excitement

We have come to associate boredom with unhappiness and excitement with happiness, but Russell argues that boredom and excitement form a separate axis entirely, having little relationship with happiness. "Running away from enemies who are trying to take one's life is, I imagine, unpleasant, but certainly not boring. ... The opposite of boredom, in a word, is not pleasure, but excitement." [pages 48-49] The confusion of excitement and happiness, and the flight from boredom that it entails, is a chief cause of unhappiness. The cure is to teach oneself to endure boredom without running from it.

5. Fatigue

This chapter is actually about worry. Russell believes that such physical fatigue as people feel in the industrialized world is mostly healthy, and that only "nervous fatigue", caused largely by worry, is really destructive to happiness. Russell believes most worry could be avoided by learning good thinking habits, by refusing to over-estimate the significance of possible failures, by taking a larger perspective, and by facing fears squarely.

6. Envy

"If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon. But Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I dare say, envied Hercules, who never existed. You cannot therefore get away from envy by means of success alone. ... You can get away from envy by enjoying the pleasures that come your way, by doing the work that you have to do, and by avoiding comparisons with those whom you imagine, perhaps quite falsely, to be more fortunate than yourself." [pages 71-72]

7. The Sense of Sin

Traditional religion, in Russell's view, has saddled us with an ascetic moral code that will make us unhappy if we keep it (by denying us joy in life) and also if we break it (by causing us guilt). The only solution is to root this moral code out of our unconscious, and replace it with a code less inimical to human happiness.

8. Persecution Mania

This is probably the most amusing chapter of the book, as Russell uses his droll wit to puncture human self-importance. "My purpose in this chapter is to suggest some general reflections by means of which each individual can detect in himself the elements of persecution mania (from which almost everybody suffers in a greater or less degree), and having detected them, can eliminate them. This is an important part of the conquest of happiness, since it is quite impossible to be happy if we feel that everybody ill-treats us." [page 90]

9. Fear of Public Opinion

"Very few people can be happy unless on the whole their way of life and their outlook on the world is approved by those with whom they have social relations, and more especially by those with whom they live." [page 100] Fortunately the modern world gives us some choice about where we live and who our friends will be.

The Causes of Happiness

In general, the second half of Conquest is not as impressive as the first. Not only is this section shorter than the first, but Russell has more of a tendency to ramble. These rambles can be entertaining, but they are usually not very informative. I am left with the impression that the causes of happiness remain mysterious to Russell. Once the obstacles to happiness are removed, happiness just happens -- somehow.

10. Is Happiness Still Possible?

"Fundamental happiness depends more than anything else upon what may be called a friendly interest in persons and things. ... The kind [of interest in persons] that makes for happiness is the kind that likes to observe people and finds pleasure in their individual traits, that wishes to afford scope for the interests and pleasures of those with whom it is brought into contact without desiring to acquire power over them or to secure their enthusiastic admiration. The person whose attitude towards others is genuinely of this kind will be a source of happiness and a recipient of reciprocal kindness. ... To like many people spontaneously and without effort is perhaps the greatest of all sources of personal happiness." [pages 121-122]

11. Zest

Zest is the x-factor that causes us to be interested in life. Russell has little to say about what zest is or how to obtain it. He does argue against those who would devalue zest by claiming that it is a mark of superior taste not to be interested in vulgar or lowbrow subjects. "All disenchantment is to me a malady which ... is to be cured as soon as possible, not to be regarded as a higher form of wisdom. Suppose one man likes strawberries and another does not; in what respect is the latter superior? There is no abstract and impersonal proof that strawberries are good or that they are not good. To the man who likes them they are good, to the man who dislikes them they are not. But the man who likes them has a pleasure which the other does not have; to that extent his life is more enjoyable and he is better adapted to the world in which both must live." [page 125]

12. Affection

"One of the chief causes of lack of zest is the feeling that one is unloved, whereas conversely the feeling of being loved promotes zest more than anything else does." [page 137] Unfortunately, considering the importance of affection to happiness, this chapter is almost completely descriptive rather than prescriptive. Russell describes the types of affection and evaluates their effects, but gives little advice about how to either give or get higher quality affection.

13. The Family

"Of all the institutions that have come down to us from the past none is in the present day so disorganized and derailed as the family. Affection of parents for children and of children for parents is capable of being one of the greatest sources of happiness, but in fact at the present day the relations of parents and children are, in nine cases out of ten, a source of unhappiness to both parties, and in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred a source of unhappiness to at least one of the two parties. This failure of the family to provide the fundamental satisfactions which in principle it is capable of yielding is one of the most deep-seated causes of the discontent which is prevalent in our age." [page 145]

14. Work

"Whether work should be placed among the causes of happiness or the causes of unhappiness may perhaps be regarded as a doubtful question." [page 162] Russell places it among the causes of happiness for a number of reasons:

    1. It passes time.

    2. It provides an opportunity for success.

    3. The work itself may be interesting.

15. Impersonal Interests

Certain interests are central to a person's conception of his/her life: career, family, and so forth. In this chapter Russell asserts the value of having interests that are not central, that have no effect on the major issues of life. Such hobbies and pastimes serve two purposes: (1) They provide an escape from larger worries, and distract the conscious mind so that the unconscious can work productively toward a solution. (2) They provide a reserve pool of interest in life, so that if disaster or a series of disasters destroy the pillars that support our central interests, we will have the possibility of growing new central interests.

This chapter contains an important tangential discussion of "greatness of soul" which I discuss under the Transcending Personal Hopes and Interests theme.

16. Effort and Resignation

What Russell calls resignation is more popularly referred to these days as acceptance. The question discussed in this chapter is basically: Should we try to change the world or accept it the way it is? Russell takes a middle position, roughly equivalent to the Serenity Prayer.

17. The Happy Man

In the final chapter Russell comes back to his main point: attention should be focused outward, not inward. "It is not the nature of most men to be happy in a prison, and the passions which shut us up in ourselves constitute one of the worst kinds of prisons. Among such passions some of the commonest are fear, envy, the sense of sin, self-pity and self-admiration. In all these our desires are centered upon ourselves: there is no genuine interest in the outer world, but only a concern lest it should in some way injure us or fail to feed our ego." [page 187]

Jack The Ripper

The Jack the Ripper murders occurred in the East End of London in 1888 and, although the Whitechapel Murderer was only a threat to a very small section of the community in a relatively small part of London, the murders had a huge impact on society as a whole.

WHY IS JACK THE RIPPER SO FAMOUS?

Jack the Ripper has remained popular for a lot of reasons. He was not the first serial killer, but he was probably the first to appear in a large metropolis at a time when the general populace had become literate and the press was a force for social change. The Ripper also appeared when there were tremendous political turmoil and both the liberals and social reformers, as well as the Irish Home rule partisans tried to use the crimes for their own ends. Every day the activities of the Ripper were chronicled in the newspapers as were the results of the inquiries and the actions taken by the police. Even the feelings of the people living in the East End, and the editorials that attacked the various establishments of Society appeared each day for both the people of London and the whole world to read. It was the press coverage that made this series of murders a "new thing", something that the world had never known before. The press was also partly responsible for creating many myths surrounding the Ripper and ended up turning a sad killer of women into a "bogey man", who has now become one of the most romantic figures in history. The rest of the responsibility lies with the Ripper. He may have been a sexual serial killer of a type all too common in the 1990s, but he was also bent on terrifying a city and making the whole world take notice of him by leaving his horribly mutilated victims in plain sight. Lastly, the Ripper was never caught and it is the mysteries surrounding this killer that both add to the romance of the story and creating an intellectual puzzle that people still want to solve.

HOW MANY VICTIMS WERE THERE?

1. It is generally believed that there were five victims of Jack the Ripper. They were:-
2. 1.       Mary Nichols, murdered on 31st August 1888.
3. 2.       Annie Chapman, murdered on 8th September 1888.
4. 3.       Elizabeth Stride, murdered on 30th September 1888.
5. 4.       Catherine Eddowes, also murdered on 30th September 1888.
6. 5.       Mary Kelly, murdered on 9th November 1888.

EAST END HISTORY

But the Jack the Ripper murders also serve as a reminder of a not too distant past when a whole section of London society fought a daily battle against poverty and starvation.

As such they provide us with a window through which we can look back on a bygone age when the eyes of the world were focussed on the daily lives and struggles of the East Enders who were most affected by the crimes.

Thanks to newspaper reportage on the case, coupled with the records and musings of philanthropists and reformers who wished to bring the plight of the East End's poor to the attention of the wider Victorian society, we have an unrivalled opportunity to, literally, peer into the very streets where the Whitechapel Murders occurred at the time they were occurring and to observe the impact the killings had on those who dwelt in the area.

THE POLICE INVESTIGATION

Of course the murders were also the focus of a huge criminal investigation that saw the Victorian police pit their wits against a lone assassin who was perpetrating his crimes in one of London's most densely populated and crime ridden quarters.

As a result of official reports and the efforts of journalists to keep abreast of the progress (or, perhaps more accurately, lack of progress) that the police investigation was making, we are able watch that investigation unfolding. We can analyze the methods that the police used to try and track the killer and compare them with the methods that the police would use today. We can also ask - and hopefully answer - the question why didn't the police catch Jack the Ripper?

The Victorian police faced numerous problems as they raced against time to catch the killer before he could kill again. A major one was the labyrinth-like layout of the area where the murders were occurring, made up as it was of lots of tiny passageways and alleyways, few of which were lit by night. And, of course, the detectives hunting the killer were hampered by the fact that criminology and forensics were very much in their infancy.

JACK THE RIPPER SUSPECTS

Despite the fact that no-one was ever brought to justice or charged with the crimes, there have, over the years, been more than a hundred named suspects who may or may not have been Jack the Ripper. Some of those suspects are fascinating. Others are down right ridiculous.

Yet one thing is certain. No matter how unlikely the names of those that appear on the ever expanding list of suspects might be, the on going challenge of "nailing" the ripper has helped keep this series of crimes at the forefront of criminal and social history for over 120 years.

p/s: It would be hard to determine, since we don't even know who Jack the Ripper actually was but it seems perfectly possible that Jack the Ripper's identity may one day be discovered; it may be one of the serious suspects mentioned in this report, or one that the police dismissed too cavalierly all those years ago, or it may be someone completely unknown at this time. The future may or may not reveal the Ripper's name.

Steve Jobs commencement speech: Life and death in his own words

p/s: I sure as hell love this guy. I am impressed and inspired.

What we predictably find most impactful watching the speech is the parts that touch on death. “No one wants to die,” Jobs acknowledges. “Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”

And later, he advises, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

He closed with a quote from Stewart Brand, founder of one of Steve Jobs’s favorite publications growing up, The Whole Earth Catalog: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.”

His Background.

Steven Paul Jobs ( February 24, 1955 – October 5, 2011)was an American businessman, designer and inventor. He is best known as the co-founder, chairman, and chief executive officer of Apple Inc. Through Apple, he was widely recognized as a charismatic pioneer of the personal computer revolution and for his influential career in the computer and consumer electronics fields. Jobs also co-founded and served as chief executive of Pixar Animation Studios; he became a member of the board of directors of The Walt Disney Company in 2006, when Disney acquired Pixar.

In the late 1970s, Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak engineered one of the first commercially successful lines of personal computers, the Apple II series. Jobs was among the first to see the commercial potential of Xerox PARC's mouse-driven graphical user interface, which led to the creation of the Apple Lisa and, one year later, the Macintosh. During this period he also led efforts that would begin the desktop publishing revolution, notably through the introduction of the LaserWriter and the associated PageMaker software.

In 2003, Jobs was diagnosed with a pancreas neuroendocrine tumor. Though it was initially treated, he reported a hormone imbalance, underwent a liver transplant in 2009, and appeared progressively thinner as his health declined.[21] On medical leave for most of 2011, Jobs resigned as Apple CEO in August that year and was elected Chairman of the Board. He died of respiratory arrest related to his metastatic tumor on October 5, 2011. He continues to receive honors and public recognition for his influence in the technology and music industries.

The Semantic Effects of Euphemism

Euphemism describes a polite, agreeable, or inoffensive word or expression that is used in place of one that is harsh, rude, or offensive. Also, pleasant or inoffensive language used to soften or mask upsetting truths (e.g., to pass on instead of to die). All of us use euphemisms. Because they are so much a part of us, it can be difficult to get through an entire day without using them. Many add a note of humor. Some are simply ridiculous. As writers, we must be careful when using euphemisms for they can get in the way of effective communication. They often distort or conceal.

Euphemisms can be positive or negative. Positive euphemisms include imposing job titles adopted to bolster one's self-image or impress one's friends and acquaintances. Examples of these include counsel in place of lawyer, health care professional for nurse or doctor, chief executive officer instead of president or chairman of the board, and territory manager instead of salesman.

The word euphemism comes from the Greek word ευφημία (euphemia), meaning "the use of words of good omen", which in turn is derived from the Greek root-words eu (ευ), "good/well" + pheme(φήμι) "speech/speaking". The term euphemism itself was used as a euphemism by the ancient Greeks, meaning "to keep a holy silence" (speaking well by not speaking at all).

Even though language has become an integrated part of our lives, most of us do not pause to consider the importance in which it plays in our perception of the world around us. Language is a product of social norms, tradition, culture, and even history. In fact, many historians have even found evidence of geographical migrations of populations using a method of comparative linguistics, such as comparing Sanskrit to Germanic languages to find that populations have moved from India to Europe in ancient times. It goes without saying that language plays a role in creating and reinforcing social distinctions, if only through our subconscious.

Language is like the building blocks of a civilization. Without it, an effective and cooperative society simply would not exist. Thus, language is a very power tool. Through subconscious ways, it can create class, gender, and racial distinctions. Perhaps it is not so bad that we have euphemisms for the handicapped, the elderly, and the disadvantaged. This way, in our minds, we automatically associate them with the respect that they deserve.

KONY 2012

Its a scam. I've read so many article about it. If you take alook at the video back, everything is too well organized, especially the demonstration part. According to expert in film maker industry, those people who created the video is not an amateur, they actually organized the people not in the film very well, you can see it from their position and all, meaning that its an act only it’s not real.

According to some article I've read, people requested for the official auditor to check their charity account but Jason the owner refused to do so. So people wonder why,why they have to keep it secret from the public??

Uganda military is fuk'ed up as bad as kony's army,their military actually kill and rape women as well the government is corrupted if you help kony 2012, meaning you're helping the country,in away, you're supporting the evil building up their empire. So, who will benefit from this event?? Well,through all of the donation they received world wide, 30% goes to uganda government and the rest??

I found from other sources saying that, engineers just discovered oil in uganda 6 months ago. So most probably,this video is just one of the government of united state's propaganda. Through this video, the U.S can use it as an easy reason for them to enter the country. As i mention earlier, uganda country is so corrupted, I believe its already being planned between both nation about the oil obviously, I dont think the people of uganda will agree upon selling the oil to state. At the end of the day, the one who has the power is the one who will gain most out of it, this always happen among politician in corrupted country.

According to the locals, kony already stop their activities for the past 4-5 years. They never heard news about kony anymore since 5 years back. So,in my opinion, Kony is not a threat anymore but Uganda government is the threat.